Over the past few days since we shared our adoption news
(Relentless Love Returns), we have been overwhelmed and so moved by the
response we have gotten. We have received countless phone calls, texts, emails,
and facebook messages with words of encouragement, support, and prayers. We
have seen countless people share our story via their facebook accounts to help
us get the word out. Within the first hour of posting our blog, $1,000 was
donated! We have now raised over $4,000 in just 2 days! What has also
astonished us is how much support we have received from people we have never
even met! God has already done so many incredible things in our journey and I
do NOT say this lightly. So, when we stepped out in faith and trust again as we
reached out asking for support with our recent referral and large invoice that
came along with it, we have been in awe that he continues to pour out his
blessings over our adoption through your prayers, your consistent willingness
to share our story with your friends and family, and through your financial
donations. We truly can’t say thank you enough!
Last night as Tom and I were re-counting all of the amazing
things that have been happening in the past two days, we couldn’t help but be
moved by how many people, both those we know and many whom we do not, are
joining with us to help us bring home our daughter…and many of you only know
the brief story I posted the other day. We felt that because of the love and
support you are giving to us, that we wanted to share a bit more with you..so
you TRULY know what you are part of and can begin to understand how deeply
thankful we are.
Much of what will follow is not easy for me to write.
It is not easy for me to talk about. (In fact, most of the
time I talk about it, I can’t do it with dry eyes!)
But it is what happened…it is part of what brought us to
where we are today..and for that, we are thankful.
So, here we go.
When we began this journey to adopt our daughter in June of
2012, we were told it would be nearly impossible to ever bring her home. But we
didn’t let that stop us. We had NO idea what we were about to embark on, but we
knew we were going to fight for her just like we would have if our biological
daughter was there and someone told us it was too hard…with the relentless love
of a parent. And so it began. We signed with an agency (Agency A) that said
they could help us and began the long, tedious, and expensive paperwork process.
We realized we were not equipped to pay for the large cost associated with
adopting from Ethiopia, which is approximately $30,000, so we began
fundraising.
We had t-shirts made (beautifully designed by our dear &
very talented friend Ben) to sell (still for sale by the way)
We had Ethiopian coffee and hand-made necklaces brought to
us from friend’s who had gone back to Ethiopia so we could sell these items as
well (also still have some for sale)
We asked for donations from friends and family so we could
have a Yard-Sale Fundraiser which ended up being such a huge success (thanks to
the amazing donations from so many people) the first time…
We had a second one the following spring (that was so large
we had to ask our neighbors to use their driveways too!)
I spoke and sang at a Women’s Event that donated their
proceeds to our adoption
A friend of a friend who is a reporter heard of our story
and wanted to help so he wrote an article about us to help get the word out
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And..we simply asked for help and people made tax deductable
donations directly to our adoption agency on our behalf.
The outpouring of love, prayers, and financial support were
amazing.
Seven months had passed and our adoption agency began
sending us letters and notices telling us that things were changing. Eventually
they told us that they could not promise that they would give us Hope’s
official referral..their policy stated they would refer her to the next family
in line who had requested her age and gender. That was not an option for us.
The SAME DAY we received this awful news and realized we could no longer move
forward with Agency A, a friend told us they knew of another agency (Agency B)
that would help us. We called the next day and sent in our application.
When we officially signed with Agency B, we had all of our
paperwork transferred along with all of the money people had donated to our
adoption fund from Agency A. Then we waited. We called. We sent emails. We trusted
that they were really going to help us. We kept being told, “one more week” or
“there was a meeting set up but the person didn’t show, we will try again next
week” etc…the list goes on. But ultimately, a little under one year after
signing with this agency, in February of 2014, we got an email that broke our
hearts. The agency was being indicted for fraud & conspiracy against the
United States.
This news was incomprehendable. The people we had been
working with and trusting…were not trustworthy. They were not working on our
behalf or on Hope’s behalf. They had taken our money and done nothing else to
help move our adoption forward. Now, because of this lawsuit (and the current
guilty pleas of all involved), our money..the money so many people had given
out of love, was gone. In addition to this news, about a week later we found
out that because of Agency B, the government of Ethiopia had frozen all
adoptions in progress and was also holding meetings to potentially end
international adoption all together. After consulting with multiple adoption attorneys,
adoption agencies, and speaking to friends from Ethiopia we were told our
journey was over. There was no hope for Hope.
We still knew in our hearts that she belonged with us. We
were devastated at the idea we could not adopt her, but we realized there was another
way we could still support her, still have her living under our roof, and still
be a family to her without adoption. We would pursue a Student Visa. Even
though she wouldn’t ever share our last name, she would still be our daughter
in our hearts and that was enough for us.
The doors for the visa opened WIDE! She was accepted into an
amazing school, we had a friend in Ethiopia who was willing to help us with all
the work there that had to be done (I’ll have to write a separate blog about
this AMAZING friend whom without, we wouldn’t be where we are today), things
were FINALLY moving ahead and we had an appointment with the US Embassy in
Ethiopia for the purpose of getting Hope a Student Visa on July 16, 2014. WE
HAD A DATE!!
We booked our flights, asked everyone we knew for prayers,
and flew the 17 hours to Ethiopia, leaving our two daughters behind (the
youngest turning one while we were away), and went to see our sweet Hope and
BRING HER HOME!
As you might have guessed by now, it didn’t go well. We were
denied. Immediately. No discussion. No questions. No answers. Our hearts were
CRUSHED. We thought we knew what God wanted us to do..we thought we were on the
right path as things had gone so smoothly to get us to this visa
appointment..and even worse, we had spent a whole week loving on our precious
daughter, having her in our arms once again, only to have her ripped from them
for no good reason…BY THE UNITED STATES!!! We were confused, hurt, angry, desperate, and
completely without a plan.
After the visa was denied, we decided to go speak to one
more person we had heard of, who could possibly offer some help. For families
who had been with Agency B, the Ethiopian government ultimately decided to let
them move forward (as long as their cases were cleared by a new process called
the Pair process..adding up to 5 months to the time it takes to bring your
child home), with one of two agencies. The first agency was Agency A, the one
we had left a year prior. So, there was only one option left. We met with the
director of Agency C in Ethiopia the day after our Visa was denied…with very
little hope in our hearts honestly. I remember on the drive to meet with him,
Tom looked at me and said, “I really thought we were here because we were going
to bring her home on the Visa” and I replied, “Well, maybe God had an entirely
different plan and reason for bringing us here than we know right now…or than
we may ever know.” And he did. It was for the meeting we were about to have.
This final agency said yes to us. They said they would try
to help us. “Try” being the key word as our situation was pretty dire at the
time and they had never had a case like ours before. We left our precious girl
once again with tears streaming down our cheeks and an empty seat next to us on
the plane reminding us of what we left behind..but it still was not over.
I look at this picture now and can still feel the echos of
the pain and emptiness that filled my heart the whole flight home. But there
was still a part of me that knew we couldn’t give up. We could NOT be defeated
by the enemy. And that God was STILL by our side, fighting for us and for her.
And that leads us to where we are today. THAT is why we are so grateful for each word of encouragement, each hug, each time you share our story with your friends and family, and for each penny donated. Each one is so deeply appreciated because there have been so many hardships, so many defeats, and so many "no"s along the way. Every time we feel your love and support, it tells us one more person is with us, alongside us, joining us in our fight to bring Hope home.
We have learned SO much from these experiences over the past
few years, but there is one thing I want to share with you today. You may be
reading this post and have never gone through something like I just wrote
about, but you may be going through your own pain, loss, emptiness, confusion,
desperation, uncertainty, fear, the list goes on..and trust me, I’ve felt it
all too! But what I want you to know, and what I never want to forget from my
experience, is that even when life wasn’t good and was filled with all of those
things listed above…GOD WAS STILL GOOD. He didn’t change when my circumstances
did. I have realized that I can’t base my understanding of God’s character on
the things that are happening in my life. I am blessed and God is good..EVEN
when things around me aren’t! These horrible things that happen in life can
draw us closer to Jesus and into a more real, authentic relationship with him
than we have EVER known before if we let them! If we just cry out to him…he’s
there. He will never leave us as orphans friends, he is our father and loves us
with a relentless love that will never end.
And we
know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have
been called according to his purpose.
Romans 8:28
Every
good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the
heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.
James 1:17
I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.
John
14:18
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